I say mean things when I’m hungry. I’m always laughing, even when there’s nothing to laugh at. I don’t know how to experience anger without sadness. I enjoy listening to cheesy pop songs. I want an old lady trolley for trips to the market. I buy cheap shoes and my feet smell when I wear them. I talk to inanimate objects. I like John Mayer. I find it hard to empathize with parking inspectors. I’m a breakfast snob. I judge you for not knowing the difference between their/they’re/there. I don’t do budgets. I am impulsive with my credit card and my heart. I believe in god and science. I bruise easily. I have a ‘rent pay’. I will pay exorbitant amounts of money for parking. I get stray black hairs that I pluck out with tweezers. I say sorry too often, sorry. I have soy milk in my coffee. I forget to bring my keep cup. I’m scared of wasps. I try to hide my fibromyalgia. I can’t eat gluten or dairy and sometimes I’m jealous you can. I’m pretty excited about being called a doctor one day. I like going out for breakfast on my own. I try to be a gardener but I kill most of my plants. I say a prayer when I kill a spider. I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I don’t really watch any sport. My biggest fear is ending up alone but I’m comforted by isolation. I have tiny feet. I use psychological jargon in everyday discussion. I don’t believe in ‘playing the game’ when it comes to dating. I’m absurdly confident about things worthy of anxiety, and anxious about things unworthy of attention. I know what oil pulling, salt therapy and far infrared saunas are and I’ve tried them all. I hate being late. I think deeply and feel fiercely. I buy books and don’t read them. I find it hard to love my body. I sing and I dance, both terribly. I read a lot of blogs. I’m terrified of losing people. I have an inner hippie desperate to come out. I feel satisfied if I can get away with not wearing a bra to the supermarket on the weekends. I can be passive aggressive. I work too much and am sensitive to people suggesting I’m not working enough. I eat “wanker food” – I like my nuts activated and my oil from coconuts. I like to think I’m sexually liberated but I can’t have one night stands. I think sex is better when it’s more than just physical. I don’t watch the news because I’m worried the darkness in the world might be too much today. I usually think I can do it better. I have some sad memories that sometimes overwhelm me. I couldn’t write a short lovemeanyways submission.
