It was an interesting bit of coincidence that my Love Me Anyways bracelet and my tattoo matched themselves up.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of Love Me Anyways. I have next to no problem loving other people, despite their idiosyncrasies and faults. I’m good at accepting people for who they are.
I am not, however, good at accepting and loving myself.
I just graduated from a six month stint in an intensive outpatient program for eating disorders. I’ve been following the rules and guidelines, and doing everything they’ve asked me to do. There is pride in that accomplishment.
As a result of following those rules and guidelines, I’ve been losing weight. This week, I needed to start wearing clothes a size smaller than I have been. People have been commenting that I “look good!”
So what does my screwed up, broken mind do? It immediately turns to self-destructive urges and behaviors.
What the hell?!?
What is it about me that won’t let myself succeed? Why can’t I accept my accomplishments and continue to grow from them? Why do I punish myself when I achieve one of my goals?
It’s upsetting that my biggest enemy is myself.
So I guess the whole point of this post is that I need to practice loving ME anyways. lovemeanywaysthoughtinitiative unfukyourself