I enjoy silence but create noise. I live polarities but crave the in between. I feel the most beautiful when I cry. Alone. I think there are only two choices in every decision in life and that is fear or love. I lived in gut wrenching fear for many years. That was my journey to love. I have dated only gay or abusive men. I learned this from my father, who I think was both. I avoid mirrors. I have stretch marks in places I have never stretched. I am afraid of exposure, don’t even have Facebook, but want to be a writer. I listen more than I speak, unless I am nervous, then I will talk over you and under you. I have an overactive sympathetic nervous system and blush very easily. I can be a potted shit plant but will still grow if you water me. I practice non-judgment then judge myself for every move I make. I can be so saccharine that it causes tooth decay. I have plenty of tooth decay. I don’t share then wonder why no one knows me. I am just starting to have any semblance of a normal life, like buying clothes for myself, making breakfast, investing in me, loving me, liking me, as if I just met me. I will let you trample my space and take up residence in my gut. I sweat. A lot. I am attuned to other people’s feelings and sometimes this drowns my own. I hear with my heart and see with my mind. My voice changes depending on who I am talking to. I don’t know what to do with my hands in public. I will never ask you to do something I am not willing to do, except putting eye drops in my eyes. I dream big but think small. Love me anyways.